Nicole Daedone and a Soulmaker Press editor share about the editor’s first experience of a demo of Orgasmic Meditation and the insight that all experience is shared experience.
Editor: I got to watch the demos on video… so, that was a very profound experience! I had never watched you doing that. I can’t believe I’m this far in, and I had never watched that. I had two very powerful reactions. One is that I don’t think I had articulated that part of what you’re doing is teaching that Orgasm is a shared experience.
Nicole: Yes!
Editor: I didn’t know. It was like, it’s not just one person.
Nicole: Yes! That’s huge! And that’s everything I’m teaching. If you understand that, then you understand my entire worldview and how nobody is ever doing anything to anybody. Everything shifts. We become ecosystems! We don’t become unidirectional! We become transceivers! This is what all of that is. That’s all that is needed.
Editor: That was so profound. I actually got a full-body shiver, and I had to close my eyes so I wasn’t typing. That’s never happened to me before. That’s very profound. Nobody is doing anything to you; we’re doing it together. That’s the center of the universe. That’s it. That’s the central thing.
Nicole: That’s the central thing, that’s the realization, the core realization. And it gets deeper and deeper and deeper of OM, is that interdependent connection.
Editor: It’s one of those amazing things that somehow I’d heard you talk around that. I must have heard you share things like that. Those ideas must have floated past me, but I had just never seen that. I had never understood: she’s saying Orgasm is shared, she’s feeling someone else’s Orgasm. And it was very meaningful. It stood in stark contrast with a conversation I’d had with somebody the other day because they said that they were having sex with a woman, and she knew how to get herself off. While they were having sex, she just disconnected and went into a separate space, and then she was so goal-directed that she just sort of did “that thing,” and then she was done. And he was like, “oh, okay, I guess we’re done now.” It was what you would call climax-directed sex.
Nicole: Yes. Climax consciousness!
Editor: Or goal-oriented sex. It’s all about this endpoint where you lost all the pleasure. All the pleasure.
Nicole: That is. That’s where I get crazy when people associate me with sex because that’s what they’re associating me with. That is a spark. There is a way that you can go into a place where we experience everything together. And with climax, that is disconnection, that is preservative. That is the antithesis of what I’m teaching. Sex is the cause of a myriad of things. And the cure for that loneliness is this experience where you’re sharing the most profound state together. That’s the cure. We have the cure.
Editor: We’re going to go back to these semantic things again and again. But, I want you to reclaim the word sex. You’re rejecting it now. Sex is that thing, that broken thing. But why can’t you say they have sex wrong, because otherwise what is the word for it?
Nicole: I think it’s Eros. Catherine MacCoun, in her book “On Becoming An Alchemist,” does a brilliant description of this by the way, I’ll read it to you really quick.
Editor: Yes, please.
Nicole: Remember the distinction I made chapters ago between fixed and volatile? “Sex is Eros in a fixed state, the energy is fixed because it’s bound to a single purpose in the physical. Dissolution is the process of melting Eros, dissolving it, making it volatile. In its volatile state, Eros is creative energy, the indispensable catalyst for every alchemical process.” And that’s all OM is. It’s through this profound state of union that you heat up in such a way that what otherwise would be this fixed, driven, goal-oriented sex energy, gets dissolved and becomes usable however you want to use it. And that’s why we have healing, connection, liberation, and social justice. Those are the four primary means that we use it in Eros.
Editor: So, I need to read that book. I have it, and I apologize that I haven’t read it yet. And I’ll read it.
Nicole: It’s acceptable.
Editor: Thank you. (both laugh) I’m so torn between… when you use Eros, it’s a blank in my mind. It doesn’t pull up anything and I understand that you’re trying to fill in that blank space. I know you’re trying to create this language. I really loved the part of the demo early on where you’re talking about how we have all these ways to describe things that are bad, but we don’t talk about how we have no way to talk about things that are good. I want to create that vocabulary. That’s beautiful. I love that project. But the problem is that the word doesn’t exist yet so every time you talk about that, the word doesn’t pull up. It doesn’t mean anything to me yet. I always thought of Eros as sort of this broad-based creative flow energy.
Nicole: I think that’s actually much better in a certain way. We did this huge survey with 4000 respondents asking them “when you think of sex, what do you think of?” Almost to everyone, climax was number one, and then it went into STDs, pregnancy, rape. It was not pretty. I fight a lot of battles. I tried to make the word Orgasm it for a long time, but even that was too big a battle for us to overcome. There is a preexisting lineage, which is good. There’s the whole temple of Venus and Eros, and then there’s Esther Perel doing some good stuff with “Mating in Captivity” and she uses the word Eros. Good quality people are using it. And then oddly, one of the most beautiful things ever written in Catholicism is about Eros. We can do it. At this point, I’d much rather use something neutral than something I have to convert. And you need to know I come from a radical political background, so I believe in reclamation of terms like few other people you’ll talk to. But this one is bigger than me. This one won.
Editor: Well, fair enough. The other thing that struck me as I was watching it was that you are putting people back into their body.
Nicole: That’s it. You got both of them, then. I’m going to send you a super beta site, but it’s a good beta. This is our Unconditional Freedom Project. The whole vision is that to date, there’s a reason why I’m in trouble, but it’s for the wrong reason, and people don’t realize why they’re really confronted by me, it’s because I go against the idea that the world comes from God down. I believe a lot of our problems come from that idea, and you have to build the world from the bottom up. Does that make sense? So, I start with soil. I moved to the farms, and I moved to the food. Then I move to the bodies, then I move to the minds, and then I move outward that way. People are like, “yeah, the way you get people to save the world is you have people experience the grandeur of nature.” But people aren’t in their bodies to experience it! Every bit of harm that we see in the entire world is based on the fact that people aren’t in their bodies. Either they aren’t in their bodies and they’re a victim as a result of going unconscious and not noticing danger was there or overestimating their capacity to be with intensity. Or there are people who aren’t in their bodies and transgress without having any idea what they just did. You can’t be in your body and cause genuine harm. Now, you can be in your body and hurt people. There’s a difference. But if you’re actually truly, truly, truly in your body, you experience everything you do to another person. And that’s what you see in that demo. It’s walking evidence of how you create people who feel other people, which is the cure to human harm.
Editor: You’ve given me the Zaps today. I got tears in my eyes. Yeah, that’s right. I’ve never thought of it that way.